Your mouth says, 'Shields up!' but your eyes say, 'A hull breach is imminent.'
One place you've always wanted to visit?
I was feeling a little bit off today until your Tinder photo turned me back on.
I won't set my phone to silent just in case there's a chance I'll hear from you.
Why hello there gorgeous. So when did you decided to grace the human race with such a beautiful face?
You remind me of medusa. Because every time I look into your eyes I get rock hard.
When I was walking by, I noticed you stalking so...what's up?
You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you.
Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!
If there was a nuclear apocalypse where only Jessica Alba and I survived and we were tasked with repopulating the world I would rather kill myself than force myself to fornicate with her because I know that our offspring would look like leprosy stricken monstrosities compared to the potential ones that could be made with a heavenly blessed beauty like yourself.