You were hoping to get a goodnight kiss? I was hoping to get goodnight laid.
If you were a basketball, I'd never shoot. [Why?] Because I'd always miss you.
Do you work at McDonalds? Cuz I want u to be in my happy-meal!
My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you.
Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams.
Do you want to have good sex? [No!] Well then come to my place!
I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Nice legs. What time do they open?