I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
Girl, are you a modern day savings account because I keep investing money in you but I'm not getting much interest.
I think i left a blowjob at your house. Do you mind if i come by and get it?
You're pretty emotionally unavailable for someone who shares every single one of their feelings on social media.
When we're together I'd rather you stared at my boobs than your phone.
I love you with all of my heart and genitals.
Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?
I know you're very busy but I hope you have time to fit me into your body.
Your gift wrapping is almost as fast and sloppy as your foreply.
Damn girl you smell good, what is that... McDonald's?