Is there a Boggart in your pants? Because your ass is Ridikkulus!
Girl, are you a modern day savings account because I keep investing money in you but I'm not getting much interest.
When we're together I'd rather you stared at my boobs than your phone.
I love you with all of my heart and genitals.
Your gift wrapping is almost as fast and sloppy as your foreply.
Hey, you are even prettier than in your Facebook profile picture.
You are as hot as my mother.
Is it a gleam in your eyes or light just shine through your dumb head?
Dang baby, are you flatulence? Because despite my best efforts you slipped out while I was using the bathroom.
Damn girl you smell good, what is that... McDonald's?