Are your parents retarded? Because you are special.
I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
I challenge you to pleasure me in the bedroom as much as my air conditioner does.
Our platonic relationship really turns me on.
Nothing gets me in the mood like knowing nearly every disgusting animal on the planet is having sex right now.
I wish you'd given me herpes so I'd have a reason not to miss you this much.
Someday I'd like you to be my emergency contact person.
You have such a nice smile! I haven't seen any... for at least two hours.
I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my dick disappear.
I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.