There are only two beautiful girls in the world, and you are both of them.
Date me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gertrude?
How about me and you go play dress up, I'll be the knight in shining armor and you can be my noble steed, that way I get to ride you all day!
I wish I could select all of your clothes and press Delete.
Some men go around telling women they have an eight inch penis; I'd never shortchange myself like that!
Hey Girl, Do you love water? That means you love 80% of me!
[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
Whew! You're hotter than a data center with an old school cooling system.
You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list.
Fat penguin. [What?] I just wanted to say something to break the ice.