Follow me on Instagram? (Jk I just wanted to stalk your selfies)
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Are you in the on deck circle, or is that halo?
I love you like pigs love mud.
Yesterday, I tried to paint you, but I couldn't...the colors weren't beautiful enough.
Are you COPD? 'Cause you take my breath away.
Nice Skates... wanna puck?
Call me Eric Clapton, cause I'll pluck your heart strings.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Roughly about 300 to 660 pounds, based on my research on the web.
How about you come to my place and sit on my feet as I do sit-ups?