Do you have a sewing kit? (No, why?) Because I'm ripped!
Hey Girl If you were a book then I wouldn't be able to read you, cause your print is so fine.
Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition.
I'm the best in rapid clothing removal.
My mother told me to never look at pretty girls because I will turn into a statue. In fact I feel myself getting hard right now.
No one else can cut off your clothes, restrain you, and sedate you like a medic can...Wanna play?
Are you my appendix? Because I don't understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
No that's not an epi-pen in my pants, I'm just happy to see you.
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
You wanna know what's big? (Pause) My house you weirdo!