Hey, my name's [insert your name here] and I can disappoint you in ways you've never imagined.
How did your parents create you? I want to know how to make my children as beautiful as you are.
Hey Girl If you were a book then I wouldn't be able to read you, cause your print is so fine.
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be.
It hurts! (What hurts?) When you tore out my heart and threw it across the room!
Do you have a sewing kit? (No, why?) Because I'm ripped!
I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
Are you Valdes? Because I want to teach you how to handle balls.
My wife calls me Gordie Wowe!