Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in?
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling.
I've got an alarm clock that makes the best sound in the morning. Would you like to come and hear it?
Is your last name Whitman, because I want to sample you.
I'm an interior decorator. I can fill your interior.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.
I named my dick "the truth" cause bitches can't handle it!
Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they're 100% off.