I wish you'd given me herpes so I'd have a reason not to miss you this much.
I love you, I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
Do you want to play volleyball, I have two balls you can play with.
Hey, girl. I bet I can get you excited without even using my hands.
Wanna play guns? Bend over and I'll cock you.
Are you a ping pong table? Cuz you ping pong my balls.
Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.
You are so hot. Even my zipper is falling for you.
Sorry, baby. I thought it was hump day...
You know, I'd love to show you the toys my elves make for adults. Batteries included.