May I introduce my name? I'm Doug. It's like god, but it's spelled backwards with a U wrapped up in it.
[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
(Guy closing hand with nothing inside and showing it to girl): It's my breath from when you took it away.
Have you ever been to Hawaii? (No why?) Well it was the most beautiful thing before I saw you.