Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you're stuck with me.
Feel my dress. Know what it's made of? Girlfriend material.
I love you like pigs love mud.
If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you.
It hurts! (What hurts?) When you tore out my heart and threw it across the room!
No, that's not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
I can get you off the Naughty List.
Let's make love like there is a North Korean long-range missile headed straight toward us.
Someday I'd like you to be my emergency contact person.