Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me and then I remember that I put up with you.
You have no idea how many inconvenient boners you have caused.
Although I have such an ugly phone, your number would add beauty to it!
What do you call a penguin with a large penis? An icebreaker.
You are threatening my health. You're so sweet that you give me a diabetes.
Even Santa doesn't make candy as sweet as you.
You're like a bright light and I'm like a bug, because I'm so darn attracted to you.
I've got you on my "nice and naughty" list!
You must be my horcrux, because you complete me.
Do you have some bug spray? Because I have butterflies in my tummy.