My wife doesn't understand me.
Can I even get a fake number?
Your eyes just match your blouse or dress perfectly. Want a drink?
Do you work at Dick's? Cause you're sporting the goods.
I need a dollar, but I only have 90 cents... do you want to be my dime?
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
I'd drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot coals, just to chase a laundry truck that MIGHT have your dirty underwear on.