My love for you is like the A's and Daric Barton: it never dies.
Can you tame my diamondback? Everybody else has.
Of all the butts in all the locker rooms, well, yours is way better.
So am I gonna be your closer tonight, or are you putting me in middle relief?
Is there a rainbow today? Oh because I just found my treasure!
You can be my Henrietta and I will be your Guiseppe.
I know you're very busy but I hope you have time to fit me into your body.
Sometimes my friends call me Speed Racer, because adventure's always waiting just ahead.
I hope you don't mind an unsolicited critique of your dating profile.