Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
You're too nice, stop! I'm gonna feel bad being handsy on our first date.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
Wanna sit on my lap while I use the rowing machine?
Nice shoes, want to fuck?
My other stick curves to the right.
Did you know that if you hit return a bunch while texting, leave two dashes and a long bracket beneath them, you make a very happy whale? You're welcome.
I'd ride that sleigh!