I wish you'd given me herpes so I'd have a reason not to miss you this much.
You make my cardiac muscle pump blood through my vascular system really quickly.
Are you an official here? Because you have officially given me a boner.
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
Nothing gets me in the mood like knowing nearly every disgusting animal on the planet is having sex right now.
I've heard it's bad luck not to kiss someone at midnight. (New Year's Eve)
What's my name? People call me "Bar Stool" because of my third leg.
Sit on my face and I will eat my way to your heart.
I would do fifty shades of bad things to you.
These voices in my head that have been telling me to come over here and talk to you.