The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.
If I'm a pain in your ass… We can just add more lube.
I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!
I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data?
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
You dropped something! What? (Point at the ground) Your standards.
So what haven't you been told tonight?
Did you know your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated?
Do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight.