If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.
No that's not an epi-pen in my pants, I'm just happy to see you.
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
How do I tell my dog he was adopted?
You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Bethesda?
That outfit would look great...in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
I'm in the mood for pizza... a pizza you, that is!
If you had to be one household appliance, what would it be? I'd be a washing machine cause that's probably the only way I'd get a girls panties wet.
You remind me of a Happy Meal...because I'm going to make you come with a toy inside.