Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
You heard right: I only take off this mask for two things.
I think about you when I masturbate.
Want to see my Hard Disk? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
You're so pretty, I wouldn't even need to use an Instagram filter if I took your photo.
I need someone to look through these briefs.
How many fingers are too many?
This cello isn't the only big wood between my legs.
I love you almost as much as I love myself (not really, but you're still pretty hot).