If there was a Zagat guide for penises, yours would rate high on both service and decor.
I bought you an everstone. Because I love you just the way you are.
I can't find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?
I promise to be so faithful to you that you'll have to find a different reason to dump me.
You stole my heart, so can I steal your last name?
Baby I want to bang you as hard as I bang the keys of my piano when I play Beethoven's 5th symphony.
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
Guy walking up and touching girl: Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion
Let's drag out this excruciatingly ill-fated romance until there isn't even a remote possibility of salvaging a friendship.
Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you.