May I introduce my name? I'm Doug. It's like god, but it's spelled backwards with a U wrapped up in it.
[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Swear to drunk I'm not God...just intoxicated by you.
I wonder what you taste like.
You must be the witch, because you've cast a love spell on me.
I'm alien, can I probe you?
I must be a crank cuz I'm crazy for you.
Babe, you're cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, cause I want to take you home!
(Guy closing hand with nothing inside and showing it to girl): It's my breath from when you took it away.
Don't speak to me, don't send any messages. I don't want to see you, hear your voice, think of you, cause my doctor advised me to keep away from Sweets.