Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
You remind me of a Happy Meal...because I'm going to make you come with a toy inside.
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
Are those diamonds real? [YES] I was talking about the ones in your eyes.
How about coming back to my place for a little actus reus?
Hey baby, are you a lawyer because talking to you just violated the terms of my parole.
Hey baby...you know, pianists do it with ten fingers.
Are you sitting on the F5 key? Cause your ass is refreshing.
You must be differentiable, because all I see are smooth curves.