If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you're buying me drinks until you do.
I don't know who you are. I don't knw what you want. If you are looking for a hook up, I can tell you I do not want that. But what I do have are a very particular set of skils, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a delight for people like you. If you hate my icebreaker, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you do, I may ask you to coffee.
I think there's something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings?
Quite honestly you're pretty much my exact type of girl. I don't wanna waste time chit chatting, give me your number.
It's gonna be legend-...wait for it...(And I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is) DAIRY!
Do you drink a lot of Snapple because you look like you're made from the best stuff on Earth?