Damn Girl, your ass is bigger than my future!
Do you work at Dick's? Cause you're sporting the goods.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
Do you know what you and the weather have in common? You're both hot!
Are you a basketball player? Because I have some balls you can dribble all night long!
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?
Do you have a mirror in your pocket, coz i can see myself in your pants!
Guy walking up and touching girl: Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion
If someone invented a time machine that could only be used by cool people, I bet you'd be able to travel back in time, no problem.
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?