Summer's over, because you're about to fall for me.
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I'm trying to quit smoking, wanna give me a new oral fixation?
So how do lesbians have sex? It's too complicated. I'd have to show you.
I love you like a drunk girl loves yelling that she's sober at 3am while lying on the floor of a Taco Bell.
Even if it wasn't cold out, my nipples would still be erect when I'm near you.
Let's go on a date to see how expensive everything has gotten since we were actually single.
You look like my first wife. Her: "How many wives have you had?" You: None yet.
If you were an element, you'd be Francium, because you're the most attractive.
Stand still so I can pick you up!
Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams.
If I'm a pain in your ass… We can just add more lube.