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Two large masses that are close together are supposed to radiate gravitational waves. I think that you're a big part of that.
If there was a nuclear apocalypse where only Jessica Alba and I survived and we were tasked with repopulating the world I would rather kill myself than force myself to fornicate with her because I know that our offspring would look like leprosy stricken monstrosities compared to the potential ones that could be made with a heavenly blessed beauty like yourself.
I've got an alarm clock that makes the best sound in the morning. Would you like to come and hear it?