Let's drag out this excruciatingly ill-fated romance until there isn't even a remote possibility of salvaging a friendship.
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It's a felony in this state to look that good, but if you turn around, I'll let you off with a warning.
If you don't mind people you don't know following you, I suggest either joining Twitter or giving me your daily schedule.
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Boy: Do you wanna be my SLUT? Girl: WHAT! Boy: Do you even know what slut stands for? Boy: (S)weet (L)ittle (U)nforgetable (T)hing