Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
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Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
Ay girl, you must be immune to my white blood cells, because you are killing me.
You remind me of a Happy Meal...because I'm going to make you come with a toy inside.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
I'm in the mood for pizza... a pizza you, that is!
I'd be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state.
If you were oxygen, I would be an alkali metal so i could get in you and explode!
I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data?
Perhaps you and your friend would like to play a trio with me?