You're so hot that if you ate bread you'd poop out toast!
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you.
Nothing gets me in the mood like knowing nearly every disgusting animal on the planet is having sex right now.
I wish you'd given me herpes so I'd have a reason not to miss you this much.
You make my cardiac muscle pump blood through my vascular system really quickly.
I just bought a molecular model kit, want to play with my stick and balls?
I would do fifty shades of bad things to you.