Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
Hey, my name's [insert your name here] and I can disappoint you in ways you've never imagined.
How did your parents create you? I want to know how to make my children as beautiful as you are.
I'm currently taking applications for a little spoon position. 1-10, how would you rate your cuddling abilities?